Coping Skills to regulate your emotions and decrease stress:

Self-Compassion break: 1st acknowledge what is present mindfully without judgement. ie. “This is a moment of suffering.” or “Self-judgment is present”. That’s Mindfulness. Next, practice Common Humanity by acknowledging that you are not alone. Lots of other people are also suffering right now. Lastly, practice self-kindness through using an affirmation or mantra that fits for you as you inhale and exhale, such as, “May I accept myself as I am”. Visit self-compassion.org for more resources.

STOP: S: Stop what you are doing. T: Take 5 deep, slow breaths (which slows down panic/hyper-arousal). O: Observe what is happening in your body and also around you (temperature, texture, sights, sounds, sweating, nature, other people). P: Proceed with loving-kindness (Check in: Am I calm? If not, repeat).

Disengage from your phone and screens. Take a break, and do it safely. Communicate with those who would need to know where you are that you are unreachable for and an hour or what time you choose. Then spend the time being in rest, with your heart, doing something that is calming and centering for you.

Movement: Even 5-10 minutes of exercise that gets your heart rate up is enough to bring a shift in your nervous system from high stress/anxiety into a more regulated state. Moving your body is one of the best ways to cope with negative thoughts and strong emotions. Engage your body in a walk/run, dancing, bike riding, a hike, some Yoga poses that feel good.

5-4-3-2-1: This is a great distress tolerance and crisis survival skill to practice anywhere. See 5 things that catch your eye, touch 4 things you can feel (within reach), listen for 3 sounds you can hear, identify 2 smells, and lastly taste 1 thing mindfully. Breathe deeply as you notice what you are seeing/feeling/hearing/smelling/tasting, and relax as you arrive in the present moment.

TIPP: a DBT skillset for surviving a crisis. Don’t need to do these in order. T: Tip the temperature of your face with cold water on a cloth for 30 seconds. I: Intense Exercise for 10-15 min. P: Paced breathing - slow the pace of your breathing down as you inhale and count to 5, and as you exhale and count to 6. This will help your nervous system return to a calm state within a few min. P: Progressive muscle relaxation - Tense each muscle group (hold your breath a few seconds) head to toe, and exhale as you relax the muscle group. Repeat if needed until calm.

Box Breathing: As you inhale, visualize drawing the left side of the box going up as you count to 4. Hold your breath as you mentally draw the line at the top of the box and count to 4. Exhale as you visually draw the right side of the box for 4 counts. Hold your breath for 4 counts as you draw the bottom of the box right to left. Repeat for 1-3 min.

Guided Meditation: There are many apps that offer free guided meditations. Some people like Insight Timer, the Calm app, and there are many on YouTube. Pick one with the time you have available and someone’s voice you like. Find a comfortable seat removed from distractions. Begin to notice your breath.

Creative Expression: Make/Draw or Paint/Write/Cook or Bake/Collage/Color/Dance/Sing/Sew/Knit/Mend something. Let yourself play!

Embracing: Ask for a hug (your dog/cat, a trusted friend, or hug yourself arms across chest; breathe and feel yourself being embraced)

Squeezing: your forearms as you breathe and acknowledge, “this is my body. I’m safe now. My body is good.”

SCOPE: Slow Motion: Take 10 steps slowly, noticing sensations in the bottom of your feet; Connect to your Body: Cross your arms and ankles, tuck your head, breathe, squeeze your arms; Orient: slowly look around taking in colors and shapes, let your gaze rest on something pleasant/comforting; Pendulate: Notice a place of ease in your body and a place of tension. Slowly shift your focus between ease-tension-ease. Engage: Reach out, connect with someone you trust who you can ask for support from, a hug/to talk to. Or visit SCOPE.

Aromatherapy: Add an essential oil you like to your bath/shower/pillow/the dish water to boost pleasure through your sense of smell.

Spiritual Connection: Coming home to your center/essence that is Love. Some ways may include sitting still, prayer, music, song, writing, feeling your breath, going for a walk in nature, painting, dancing, meditating.

Recommended Reading and Listening:

On Getting Unstuck: Untangling a book by Barbara McGavin and Ann Weiser Cornell (audiobook free on Spotify for a limited time)

On Codependency: Are You A High Functioning Codependent? with Terri Cole (2-part series on podcast, We Can Do Hard Things, Season 2); Codependent No More, a book by Melody Beattie

Connecting with yourself and others: Atlas of the Heart a book by Brene Brown; The Dance of Connection a book by Harriet Lerner

Trauma Healing Support: Waking the Tiger, a book by Peter Levine; The Body Keeps the Score, a book by Bessel van der Kolk

Addiction Support: The Craving Mind, a book by Judson Brewer; podcasts and online resources also available by Judson Brewer. See The Habit Mapper

Insomnia/sleep support: Yoga Nidra: Melatonin Magic audio by Jenifer Piercy on the Insight Timer app (free)

This list of resources is updated once per quarter.